Growing up and growing old.

I know that ageing is a part of life,it is fact.
I have grown with my children as much as they have grown with me.
As all of my children work their way through their years,i often wonder if have made the right choices for them,have i made the right choices for me?
I could have been a so called coward or selfish person, when i found out about Mikiya's problem's,i think not giving her the opportunity to have her go at life would have been the selfish part,so i know i made the right choices with her.
Have i made the right choices with Shaniya and Dakota?
Have i taught them that being scared is ok?
Have i taught them what to do with trial and error?
Are there times when i have told them the truth but for their protection should have lied?
I take my life as a mother with one step at a time,i do not plan out tomorrow,i wait till tomorrow is here then i start that day as it comes.
Sometimes i sit back and i think about my life as it was before,and i don't know that life anymore.
I met Troy in 1995,had a baby in 1996,another baby in 1999 and then another in 2006,and got married in between.
It all could have been differen't but i'm not a planner,the only thing in life that i have ever planned was my children,in this day and age you know your doing well when you plan your children and know who their daddy's are.
I'am very thankful to have stuck it through with one man and to have had all my kids with one man,i'm not cutting up anyone else in that position.
It's just very common now.
I have been with Troy for 3 months shy of 13 years,now that makes me feel old,in reality NOT.
I think because i had the other two kids while i was younger,now that i'm 30 and Mikiya is almost two,i feel old and warn.
I'm ready for bed by 9pm and i don't want to get out of bed in the morning.